Blame it on the Alcohol

The biggest bar faux pas, from the mouth of the bartender

Ah, the life of a bartender… the money is great, the hours are easy, I’m in control (which suits me, since I’m a top), and I have more phone numbers on napkins than you have friends on MySpace.

I’ve been in the service industry for 11 years, and I’m here to tell you — the bar scene is a popular one no matter how shitty the economy. But, if you are out spending your hard-earned money on a night you hope to forget, at least do it in style. I know all and see all from a very different — very sober — point of view. So before venturing out for a fierce boys’ night, a casual evening with the girls, or even those naughty nights that end up at After Hours for “one more” dance, drink, or forbidden bathroom break, know this…

Lesson one: Know what you want. If you have been standing in line for 10 minutes and finally make it up to my bar, and I ask you what you want, and you say, ” I don’t know (giggle giggle),” you will be lucky to get the stare and not a smack upside the head. You don’t know? What do you mean, you don’t know? It’s NOT cute. Here is your Coors Light and shot of Jagermister; enjoy your 21st birthday. Yay! I know this may sounds harsh, but I’m just keeping it real.